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It’s snowing, cold and grey outside…but I feel it on the inside of my being. I try to resist, change my task, do some exercise, fold some clothes, play with my dog…nothing changes .it’s like I am hard as stone, almost in prisoned..not able to breathe.

She came to visit again, I thought maybe she might take a vacation in hell. I actually said hello and turned around to let her know I saw her but she can’t live with me.

Let it be…

Acknowledge

Piss off

Melancholy

Distress

Acceptance

God is in charge

Love myself

Gratitude
Reminding myself to use my healthy toolbox of coping skills when she comes to visit..and remembering it’s a process.

Depression is real…peace

A new view…

It’s the beginning of February…soft sigh. We returned yesterday from Kauai. One of my favorite places to be in January. My parents were with us, which made it even more special. When you do something new…it has an amazing power…it stays in your minds eye for a really long time. The smell of the sea, the warmth of the sand. I was craving it!

However when you share the experience with the one’s you love..it is more of a memory…you want to freeze in time..

It’s not the words …it’s not the actions …it’s the feeling’s that stay with me…peaceful, gratitude, a softness that is hard to explain.maybe as soft as the air coming off of the sea..it just gives me hope and love..for a new way to be… Peace

Hard at work

It’s been slow and steady..I feel as though my goal is on track. The second floor really needs alot of work. I took out the stair case. . hence a hole in the floor..well I ended up taking walls down also between the power room and bedroom 😁 to make it easier to put my flooring in place. I repurposed some things wood I found on a junking trip last summer from a old farm house. It has great texture!

However I had to add wood filler. Prime and sand.

Remember with out the stairwell and with the walls🤗

This is what it looks like today… yeah..! Like I said before slow and steady..as the paint is drying, I make furniture and refinish furniture..more of that in another post ..peace

Kitchen..

Hello, I feel as though I haven’t written for a bit…

We had some design changes..so we got behind a bit..I must tell you..the install on the subway tiles was a job..and picking black grout 😤😬😭 crazy messy. It turned out ok, but I don’t think I would do as much next time. However the grout is what changed my color scheme..I choose to paint all my cabinet’s, stove, and fridge..leave the butcher block counter top.

I still have some other pieces to paint, but I got excited about my hand made shelves! Before all the decor goes in I need to start the ship lap in the family room..that’s what I will be doing next…if you have any ideas let me know.. It’s nice to get other ideas bouncing around…peace

First floor update

Well progress is slow..however the decision’s are big design …floors and walls on the first floor.

I have primed all surfaces in the living room. Yes I love white wood floors🥰

Yes..the wall came out between the kitchen & living room…I really do like a open concept …I removed the vinyl & parkay ( I know..the parkay was classic for the dining area. Just finished installing more wood in kitchen so that flooring wasn’t broken up..still needs to be primed…the walls in the kitchen are getting shiplap …so excited!!

I had ordered the cabinet’s and appliances …well they came early!!! So…they are sitting in the living room..so off I go to work in the kitchen… peace

Demo day..

It has started…this is my January project, hopefully it will be done before our holiday at the end of the month..

Took the plumbing out of the restroom..that was a job..it was over 100 years old..

Had to send the kitty in to do some hunting…the house hadn’t been occupied by humans for about 5 years so the country mice used it…kitty had fun relocating all of the mice…lol!

All the old electrical was removed for safety reasons…its quite a mess..the last thing we did was removed a wall between the kitchen and living space, called in a structural engineer to make sure it wasn’t low bearing .

I haven’t photographed that yet…we were so exhausted …what a great start to the new year…peace

Top nine images of 2019…

A gift …for my spirit

“Desiderata”

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

My BIG little house…. —

Over the holiday break, I have a new project to work on… A good scrub down..some sage wands in order to clean the spirts.. Some repairs are in order…the house has been vacant for sometime…so lights and heat is a must…
My BIG little house…. —